dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
