then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
