boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
