did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
