i will never coherently bang her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
