a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
