he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
