i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
