So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
