put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The struggles of a small town man whore
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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