no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
