so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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