my mouth tastes like poor choices
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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