I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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