But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
