youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
