i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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