Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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