You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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