Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
