The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
