been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
