yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
