Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
