you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
