if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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