I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize