So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
