What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
