dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
