Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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