I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
