I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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