Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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