Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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