My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
