I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
