My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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