mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
