WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
