Porn is love you can see.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
