i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
