woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
