Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When did angry sex become our thing?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
