i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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