Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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