you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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