The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
