Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i would punch a child for taco bell
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
