Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
